Watching oneself on video is always a somewhat cringe-worthy endeavor. However, I really appreciate the value of this experience. I watched myself with my k-2 group of homeschool students as we read a story, talked about maps, and got ready to go for a walk downtown, plotting our course. This was kind-of a last minute plan because I wanted to take advantage of the spring-like weather we were having last week. Overall, I think things went fine, but I noticed several things about my mannerisms and speech that I'd like to change. For example, I caught myself calling them "guys" pretty often, as in "listen up guys, this is really important". Upon reflection, I just don't like the sound of that. I'm not sure what the alternative is. I need to find a moniker that seems natural and comfortable for me, but is more inclusive, empowering, and at the same time, nurturing. I also feel like I need to establish more routine with this group. With the older two groups I can feel a little more community forming. They seem to know what to do and what to expect when they come into the room. Partly, I think this has to do with the fact that this group got off to a rough start. Several of the students weren't there the first day, then we had some people drop and some new people added, so it's only been a couple of weeks with this consistent group. That said, I also feel like I'm dabbling, not really sure what is going to grab them and get them excited. It's challenging for me to put myself in the mindset of kindergarteners. I have a hard time conceiving of what they don't know and what is developmentally appropriate and interesting to them.
One of the goals I set in the beginning of this class was to be more authentic, comfortable, and inside myself when I'm teaching and I think this age group is tripping me up the most. I find myself acting "different" with them. Some people I know have such a natural comfortable way with this age group. They don't mind being silly and that's just not really me. So I'm still struggling to find an authentic voice that works with this group. I'm realizing this may be something I need to practice and that I may need to spend more time planning and anticipating challenges with this group than I do with the older kids who are more independent.
Ted Videos
The Sir Ken Robinson video is one which I have seen many times, but it never fails to amaze me. He tackles so much in just a few short minutes and makes it all seem so clear, so simple, so obvious. One of the things that hit home during this viewing was the way he discussed aesthetic experiences as a "waking up" of our senses. It's the feeling of being fully alive and engaged. I wrote in my journal that I feel a little sad and disappointed in myself because I don't think I'm doing a very good job of this with my kindergarten group, when it would seem that they should be the easiest. Everything is new and exciting to children at this age, but I don't think I'm taking full advantage of that. I feel like my lessons are kind-of boring and aren't coming from an authentic place in me. So I need to change that. I've talked with some colleagues and I have a few ideas. We'll see how it goes.
The second video I watched was Diana Laufenberg: How to Learn? From mistakes. I chose this title because I was feeling a little down about watching myself teach and I thought it might offer me some encouragement. I was hoping this video would help me re-frame my experience right away. Ultimately, it wasn't what I was expecting, but she definitely made some great points. For example, posing the question "why do students come to school if it's no longer to get the information? (the information is all around them)is a great way to frame and explain the paradigm shift we're experiencing in 21st century education. Her teaching philosophy appears to be student centered and progressive which resonates with me as well. What I'm still wondering is, how? It's one thing to say that if you get students excited and invested in something and let them take responsibility, they will show up and do great things. I believe this to be true. But how? How do you get them excited in the first place? I found myself wishing that this talk were a little longer and that it contained more personal anecdotes and stories about the day to day classroom experience. I think that's what teachers want to know. This kind of talk is great for convincing the general public that we need to think differently about education, but teachers need to know how. We want to know how. I realize that Ted might not be the right forum for that. Showing teachers how can take years of dialogue, experience, and reflection. But I guess that's where I am now. I'm convinced. I'm on board. Show me how.
Hi Karen!
ReplyDeleteWonderful reflections!!. I have always found the "littles" the most intriguing and, for me, most challenging group to work with. You know how some people bow to middle school teachers? I Bow to K, 1 and 2 teachers.
Can you talk a little more about how you are different with this age group? I wonder what that might be? It is normal for us to alter approach and behavior depending on the age were working with, maybe its just that and your comfort level with littles is evolving. (Unfortunately for me, I become one of them and get them sooooo excited its hard to refocus, hence, I have elected to work with the olders....)
I can tell you that littles do well with consistency and to some degree, routine as you intuitively felt.. So the group you describe has it challenges (different kids, limited time) and it sounds like you have some very exciting and well thought out plans for them. Be good to yourself! Im sure my peers with extensive experience with Littles have lots to offer, but one thing I can tell you is, too much stimulation can sometimes overwhelm. (enter, spastic middle school teacher... exit spastic middle school teacher) They have so much going on in their heads, hearts, bodies, it doesn't take much to draw it out. From my experience they are also very physical. Getting all the sense's involved, helps keep them focused but does require some serious multi tasking on the teachers part. .. Show no fear....LOL They are WAY smarter than most people think, they are infinitely creative and can come up with no less than a million ideas completely (or seemingly) unrelated to your questions in 10 seconds flat. Stories. Littles LOVE stories.
You also love stories (from what I know about you....) Maybe connect that...
Let me reiterate here.... YOU ARE DOING INCREDIBLE STUFF. So look at whats working, take your queue's from the relationships you are forming. Who are these kids? What do that have in common? Maybe make an on going story (routine and constancy) that turns them into an art tribe, have them figure out some things they have in common and create an entire culture out of it.... symbols , design an environment, etc.... Each week tackle a new aspect of the story... build on it.
Really, you have such a great heart and are very intuitive. Trust yourself. Lean on all of us. :)