Week 2 Reflections

Reflecting on Palmer: Behind the Teacher

Wow.  This chapter cut right to the quick.  Where do I even begin?...

Palmer's words began to resonate with me right away by highlighting the juxtaposition of original inquiry vs. the imitation of authority and collaboration vs. competition in our educational environments.  Once again, I am reminded that our espoused societal values are not reflected in our practices when you really take a closer look at our educational system.  We have fostered a competitive environment built for the replication of the status quo rather than a collaborative one which seeks to honor diversity in and of individuals in order to generate new knowledge, connections, and combinations.  We like to say that we value innovation and collaboration in society and in our workplaces, but it is not reflected in our learning environments, the vary place where culture is shaped.  In reality, we have a sort of mono-theistic, trickle down theory of teaching which doesn't respect the community of learners or consider it a reputable source of information and knowledge.  Without knowing it, this system invalidates the self as a source of truth and understanding.  The classroom community has become as blacklisted as Wikipedia.

As the author points out, we live in a time and culture that is disproportionately obsessed with empirical knowledge and cold, objective facts.  The 19th century brought us the golden age of enlightenment and reason and many thinkers of that time believed that if given time, the scientifc method would reveal absolutely everything there is to know about the universe.  We are now beginning to understand that reality is more nuanced than that.  That "truth is not a statement about reality, but a living relationship between ourselves and the world".(Palmer)  While empirical, objective, scientific knowledge certainly has an important place in our quest for greater understanding and truth, I believe that there are many ways of knowing; different lenses we might look through.  The true seeker - the authentic student - should be practiced and comfortable with many ways of knowing, many paths of inquiry, many prisms (ping Livey) to cast light through, and possess the grace and agility to identify contexts and know how to use them. To do this, we need to "locate and understand the self" in relationship to information, not remove the self from the process entirely.  "If we believe that knowing is a process in which subjective and objective interact, we would create a different kind of education.  Students and subjects would meet in ways that allow our passions to be tempered by facts, and the facts to be warmed up, made fit for human habitation, by passions.  In this kind of education we would not merely know the world.  We ourselves, our inner secrets, would become known; we would be brought into the community of mutual knowing called truth." (my god, that's beautiful.)

The trickle down system not only turns truth into a distant other not to be found within the self or in the co-created space of the classroom, but sets learners against each other in competition.  This is why so many students care so much about the carrot, they can't even see the stick; so much about the destination, they are completely oblivious to the journey.  Yet, more startlingly "We [learn to] become manipulators of each other and the world, rather than mutually responsible participants and co-creators".

Here's where it gets personal for me.  Right in the middle of reading this article, I had to stop and admit to myself that lately, I have forfeited the privilege of reflection and inner work to the chaos of pursuit and competition.  And while I know there is a season for all things, I'm asking myself, what can I take off my plate?  What can I do to simplify my life in order to make space for this essential, nourishing process.  I need to "take a backseat to peace" as my husband would chidingly say.

It's in this spirit that I am trying to reflect on how to deal with a difficult student and I would greatly appreciate the feedback of my peers and respected teachers.  Each week I teach a small group of homeschooling children at the Art League.  In my middle school aged group I have one boy who continues to be very disruptive and difficult, sometimes even crossing the line into disrespectful, both to me and to other students.  I think he considers himself something of a class clown, so I don't think there's anything malicious in it, but he'll do just about anything for a joke and to disrupt or derail the class.  In a typical classroom environment, I think a lot of this kid's behaviors would just be ignored, which is probably for the best.  You don't want to give this kind of negative attention seeking any validation.  But there are only 4 students in this class.  His disruptions are glaring and difficult to recover from.  But perhaps even more frustratingly for me, he seems absolutely reticent about not taking his work seriously or applying himself in any way.  As a homeschooling student, I don't think he has much structure in his day to day routine (I've asked him what a normal day looks like and he says he normally just plays Minecraft.  What?!), so I don't think he's often pushed to do much of anything new or challenging.  He seems behind his peers in other fundamental areas as well, such as reading, writing, and math, but I have not been made aware of any specific "learning disability". Now, my initial response to all this has been frustration, anxiety, blaming the student/parent/society/sugar/Minecraft (anyone but myself), and my impulse has been to try to coerce or force him into caring about his work and engaging meaningfully in a process.  I recognize, of course, that this is an absurd contradiction and an impossible task.  You can't  force or coerce someone to care.   All of this was on my mind as I was reading this article, and suddenly it occurred to me - be water.  Just flow.  Stop trying so hard to control and manipulate this situation.  In a sense, I've decided to "take the risk of not speaking, of creating tension and embarrassment in a setting where [the teacher] is supposed to fill the air with authoritative words".  I simply refuse to spend all my time and energy combating this one student when there are other students who are hungry for this experience and are getting seriously short changed.

I think what I need to say to him is, "I really, genuinely want you to get something out of this experience.  I want you to make something you care about and that you can be really proud of.  (this is true from the bottom of my heart) But I can't force you to do that.  I can only give you the opportunity and my guidance, both of which are right in front of you.  I want you to have that experience, of creating something amazing, because I know how good it feels.  It's just awesome.  So much more satisfying than cracking jokes and scoring a laugh.  In my own work, I push myself to do my absolute best, because I don't want to bother with anything I'm not proud of, but I have to accept that this is about your work.  It's not my work.  I can let that go and accept that you may not care about your own work that much and maybe you're not ready to push yourself, but what I can't do is allow you to prevent others from doing their best work.  So your choices are to participate fully and with sincerity, or to sit quietly and separately so that others can work.  Those are your options and that's it."

What I'm trying to figure out is , how do I take a student who is unwilling to learn, and engage "their willingness to seek transforming knowledge"?  How do I lead them into that "deep desert of silence" when they won't even sit still or settle down long enough to do a simple sketch or participate in a conversation about anything other than video games?  What does this student need?  What has made them so disengaged and unfocused and what can I do to change it?  If I can not change it with what little space I occupy within their life, how do I respond in order to remain true to myself and protect the others' right to a rich and meaningful experience in a safe environment?

I would really appreciate some sage advice from the group.  I have the highest respect for your thinking (all of you), so please, share your wisdom.  I desperately want to make a difference for this student, and I certainly don't want to dread teaching him each week.  Am I on the right track? Thoughts?


Reflections on Marzano

Answering these authentically was difficult for me because I don't have a regular classroom setting yet.  I tried to filter them through what I teach at the Art League, but the questions aren't really designed for those kind of encounters.  Often I only see a group of students one time.  It's hit and run art making.  Or maybe I see them for an hour, once a month, but we aren't really building lesson upon lesson.  I teach in isolated incidents, so some of these questions just weren't applicable to my actual practice.  It was a little frustrating trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, so I thought I would just try to look for a sense of meaning in the scales and the questions overall, and reflect on what they mean for me as a possible future teacher in a more traditional environment.

My initial gut reaction to Marzano was a bit overwhelming.  All the scales and rubrics and checklists...it just feels unnatural, inorganic, and stilted to me.  Yet, when you dig into it, there are some real, useful, practical strategies to be gleaned.  Making an effort to state the learning goals and expectations clearly and repeat them often is something I often take for granted.  I tend to assume that once we've discussed a concept at length, looked at exemplars, done a demo, etc., that students understand what I want.  But they may not.  I think it's helpful for me to have to force myself to simplify and state succinctly what it actually is that I want them to learn.  If it's at all nebulous for me, it's unlikely that it's clear to students.

Surprisingly, I think I often overlook any formal effort at acknowledging success.  I know that I give lots of encouragement, but am I really doing anything special?  Considering that I don't have the ability to give grades or formal assessments which may be an opportunity to acknowledge or reinforce that someone has done well, I may need to devise some creative, alternative ways to celebrate success.

I felt I was pretty strong in helping students elaborate on new information.  I don't know if I would say that I'm innovating, but perhaps because of  my VTS training it feels natural and intuitive for me to ask students to elaborate on their inferences.

In lots of areas, I feel like I'm pretty much just fair to middlin', which, I guess as a young teacher shouldn't surprise me.  What did surprise me is that after taking a closer look these scales, which were kind of dizzying at first glance, I feel like these are really high, excellent standards to hold oneself to if you don't get too caught up in the minutia and just ask yourself if your really employing as many of these strategies as possible to support student learning.